I guess since this is my blog, that gives me the right to rant and rave the things that are going on in this moment. Right now is just a crazy crazy time in our (me and my family) lives. I’m trying to work from home, which has it’s ups and downs..The first down is that I’m not in the office of the person that I work for, which seems to make her forget to PAY ME. I know that I need to be patient, because she’s waiting on money from the contractors that she’s “subbing” under, and so there’s “no money” for her to pay me. So I just keep biting my tongue, and my lip, and all of that, and waiting..and waiting..and waiting. So going back to the title..this one is Too much work, not enough pay..

The second thing that I’m trying to work out is that the work that I have, even if I was getting paid, could end at any time, and due to this wonderful “OBAMAnation” that we live in, it’s not looking like there’s going to be any hope of any architecture work coming my way any time soon.  So now I’m trying to decide on going back to school or not. Well I guess I have made my mind up that I do want to go back to school. I’ve found that the Lord has blessed me with the ability to design some bands artwork for CD’s and Myspace pages and such, but I would like a little bit of schooling under my belt to help me with the web side of things. I can draw pretty pictures in photoshop all day long, but if I don’t understand the way to put them on the web the way that I want them, what use is it?? So as for now I’ve applied and been accepted to two online schools, Art Institute of Pittsburgh, and ITT Tech. I’ve also checked out just today the American InterContinental University. I’ve got a friend that is going there, hoping that she’ll be able to give me some incite since she’s taking the same exact class that I’m looking at. It’s cheaper and a bachelor’s degree instead of just an associates…hmm..So this one is Too many choices, not enough money..but I guess that’s what loans and grants are for..

The last one is just something that’s frustrating. I work from home, but I just sometimes feel bad cause I am here, yet I can’t spend time with my family. I know I’ve gotta get work done, but it’s really tempting to just go hang out with them and do nothing. I also feel bad cause there are times that I get really involved in one project or another and my kiddos will pop their cute little heads in the door where I’m at and I’ll just tell them that I’m too busy and to go play. Then when I’m done with work, I still don’t take the time to really play with them..ugh. Too much selfish..not enough being a real dad..THIS ONE I REALLY NEED TO FIX.

I guess in the long run, I should do what I know I need to do which is to seek God and His infinite wisdom, and experience, and learn how to better manage my time, and figure out exactly where He wants me to be and what He wants me to do. I have learned (through my pastor) that I need to just seek God to seek God, not for just selfish motives like “Where am I supposed to be??” or “What should I be doing?” but just look at Him in His glory and magnificence and just love Him. It’s so amazing how God will take my silly rants and raves on here and always correct me while I do it. He’s so awesome. Sometimes you just need to “see it for yourself”.. Thanks Lord. Maybe I should re-label this one. Too much ME..not enough JESUS..